Time time time

By Roy Marshall

 

It happened as I was eating pasta. The epiphany. My physicist friend Giancarlo had taken me out for lunch and we were both enjoying a very nice Carbonara. Gio was explaining his view of the time differential, and as often happens, I was paying little attention. Winding the strands around my fork then raising it high above my mouth so I could suck in the loose dangling ends, he exclaimed, “See, that’s what I mean. For the pasta on the fork, time moves faster than for that about to be enjoyed by your rather Philistine mouth.”

Not the first time he referred to me in such defamatory terms. Gio and I had been friends since grade school. He went on to study physics. I went on to be a psychologist. A ludicrous profession according to him, little more than an extension of applying parochial renaissance values and behaviors to modern humans that couldn’t take responsibility for their actions. Having gone to university together as mathematics superstars, my junior year I changed majors. I have never been forgiven for such a transgression as leaving real science to learn about human frailty.

“I’m afraid I don’t follow your reference this time. Not that I ever do anymore, but this one makes little sense to me.” I said after swallowing the last bit of deliciousness.

“See, see,” pointing his fork at me for emphasis, “that’s what happens when you get tenure. You stop using your brain. Oh, wait, you stop using your brain for important things.”

This was a new twist on the insults, “But I still use my brain though.”

“Yes, yes, of course. You coddle your students, your patients whine and complain how their mothers were mean to them and one day they woke up and realized there is no god. Shameful what you have sunk to in your old age my friend.”

Gio was Italian, this could go on all afternoon. “So, what in the world did you mean about the time differential and my pasta?”

“Ah, change the subject to avoid your shame. But okay, Einstein described the fabric of time and space so we can see that the further from the center of a massive body such as Earth, time flows faster. I’m sure you know about the experiments done a few years ago where they used two atomic clocks and took one up in an airplane. More time passed than the one on the ground. Tiny, but measurable. Even when you eat pasta, well for that matter, when you stand up, the time your head experiences, is faster than that of your feet.”

“You just can’t measure it. Right?”

“Well, no, it is an infinitesimally small difference, but it’s there.”

“Ah ha, what your saying is that you and your lab rats aren’t as smart as you thought you were and the truly important, monumental things in life, such as the time differential between my feet and head, have again, escaped your ability.”

His scowl told me I won, “Well my old friend, I’m unsure if I would put it like that.”

It was then that the idea came. The epiphany of all epiphanies. Time isn’t a constant, of course the speed of light is measurably different depending on how it’s viewed. Scientists just assign a constant value to it. But time is different as we exist, and where we exist relevant to a specific point of reference such as the center of the mass of Earth. Time changes. Or at least a more definitive measurable passage of time only as our human perception of such time. A physicist might help me define this a bit more. “Gio, do you remember when we talked about that concept of a single universal consciousness?”

“Of course, of course. Unlike you I remember most everything. Especially our discussions together with great food and of course, how you foolishly left science to coddle rich children in their quest for approval from their mothers and fathers.”

“You remember everything do you? You rarely remember your wallet when it’s your time to pay for lunch it seems.”

“Yes, well, unlike those of you with tenure, I have to prove myself all the time to acquire grant money.”

“Sure, your brand new Vette notwithstanding. And even though I usually pay, I enjoy our lunches. But something occurred to me just now. And it has a bit to do with this time differential.”

“Ah my friend, real science for you after so many years. What can I do to help with your transition from fantasy back to reality?”

That made me smile. I’ve known for years that Gio’s inability to acquire tenure in the field of physics has bothered him more than he wanted me to believe. Perhaps that quest to achieve such would keep him on his toes and allow him to assist me with something new and different, “Well, for a couple years now I’ve been working with older people. Patients near death. All of them seem to perceive that time is moving faster for them, faster than what they normally recognize.”

“That happens to us all my friend. We’re in our fifties and it seems in retrospect as though the days just fly by. Isn’t that something some other colleague of yours once explained as a ratio of our ability to rationalize each day we live compared to the total number of days we have lived. As we age, that total grows and grows so that ratio gets smaller, ergo, time flies by.”

 “That’s true. It’s a nice tight explanation. But my work has been with some people that I was with, just before they passed away. When I talk with them, I ask them to tell me their perception of a minute, a half minute, ten seconds. Each one perceived time to be without exception, as faster than actual time passing.”

As Gio sopped up the last of the sauce from his carbonara with a piece of garlic bread, he just made a little smirk. “So?” And then he chewed the last of his lunch.

“Well, recently I was able to speak with a man that was just in his late twenties. I spoke with him, asked him to tell me to gauge time. His reactions were consistent with those older patients I dealt with.”

“Did the man croak?”

“Yes, sorry. I thought that was obvious.”

“Hmm, I suppose. What does this have to do with the time differential?”

“Yeah, that’s where that universal consciousness thing comes in.”

“That surprises me. Mysticism isn’t part of the bag of mind tricks you head shrinkers usually use to bilk money out of troubled souls. What’s this really about?”

“I think you’re confusing me with psychiatrists, my compatriots use methods that are more grounded in reality to bilk money. But this concept came to me from a student.”

Waiting a moment to finish off his glass of wine, he looks at me with this huge grin, “Well well well, something you don’t see in physics, the teacher becomes the student.”

“Sort of. I found the concept intriguing. Now hear me out for a moment. This idea is that all humans are living here on planet Earth. We are all part of this immense thing called the Universal Consciousness. A small part of it lives in each of us. It’s that thinking part of us, that makes us, us.”

“Okay, I’m with you so far.” A slight change in his demeanor showed interest.

“This is where the time differential comes into play. As we die, our part of the universal consciousness leaves our body and rejoins the totality. I’m wondering if as the consciousness leaves, it’s still connected to the living mind and as it travels away from Earth, does that time differential come into play and that’s why dying people have a differing concept of the passing of time.”

His grin now turning into a frown, “But my friend, that doesn’t explain why in my fifties now time seems to fly by.”

“No, of course not. I think that’s as we discussed a moment ago. Or perhaps in your case, as your brain leaves your body to rejoin the Universe you seem to be losing not just your sense of time but your actual mind, thus the women half your age, the hair plugs and the red Corvette.” I stated with a chuckle.

 “Yes, well, that might explain things a bit. Not just my inability to deal with my divorces, but why my mind reels and I am unable to think straight when I’m with a new woman. You know, my head is up in the clouds and all. Something you should try my friend, get a bird’s eye view of your new theory.”

Gio was trying to bait me. Having been alone these past sixteen years after my beloved wife passed; I’ve not felt the need to buy a sports car. I’m a bit more grounded. “Yes, thank you Gio, but nonetheless, what do you think of this concept? And more importantly, as a Catholic, would that somehow fit into that overall belief system?”

“My friend, are you asking me how the faithful as a whole think? I’m not so certain that I can give assurances as to any such concept that defies the dogma of the church. Plus, I’m not such a believer anymore. Many new concepts and discoveries have presented themselves over the years. Those dirt sifters have found some new stuff over in Egypt that fascinates me. I’m now pretty sure that King Tut’s father, old Ahkenaten was actually the pharaoh that kicked Moses out of the City of Amarna because he and his followers were pox ridden. You know, by the time someone wrote down the story of the big exodus, it had changed dramatically to put the pox infested babble in a good light. No my friend, I haven’t gone to Mass in decades. I don’t think I’m such a person to give you an evaluation as to how the faithful will or won’t accept anything new. I’m not so certain anymore about all that.”

Sighing, I responded, “I see your point. Seems it was just a couple decades ago that the church vindicated Galileo for his heresies. Something new might not go over so well.”

“Indeed, heliocentrism just started catching on at the Vatican. You wouldn’t want to rock the boat or in this case, bring out the inquisitors. This might be a bit much. But then again, the church is big on concepts one can’t prove in any way.” Gio said with a smile.

“If I think about it, the church isn’t very big on accepting anything new or different. For them  the very foundation of faith is a concept that can’t be proven.” I remarked.

“Yes, indeed. But you my friend, just need to look at this differently.” And here came that all too familiar smile of revelation. He continued, “You just need to change the background concept. Instead of the mysticism bunk, try to push it in the direction that they all believe in now. You know, heaven.”

As usual, my friend spoke the truth and allowed insight into a solution that could conceivably receive some acceptance. I smiled, even though it seemed as though I was having a bit of gas problem and some chest pain that was intensifying somewhat. Still, I was able to talk through the rising pain. “Well Gio, once again you have some insight. Thank you.”

Gio was looking at me oddly, concern perhaps. As I tried to grasp my left biceps, the pain in my chest moved to my arm, becoming oddly transient. Then as Gio spoke to me, his voice seemed to drag and became like a slow motion animatronic figure. As he pulled his phone from his jacket I could see him slowly punch numbers into it. It was then that I noticed I began to slump sideways. That gas pain suddenly was like the time when as a boy my father had stabbed me with a knife in my stomach. His madman drunken frenzy finally ended his freedom and allowed him to rest in a psychiatric ward until his death years ago. The details of that incident were oddly and dramatically replayed in my mind. It was intense, and I looked up to see Gio sideways. Realizing I was on the floor, looking up at the gathering crowd around me, they all seemed to be moving, talking, gesticulating in ever slower and slower reactions to my plight.

Relief came to me, the pain disappeared and I felt I was smiling at all those around me. I wanted to get up and thank them all for their concern. It seemed as though someone opened the curtains on a window nearby as all about me were bathed in a bright light. Ever so slowly, Gio bent down as if to kiss me, and although that was odd, I was transported back to the first time I kissed my wife Julie, the time, the place, that feeling of love and wonderment that this simple act of love with a fellow human in this plane of existence could engender within me. The reverie over, all about me moved with ever greater lack of speed as I closed my eyes for the final time.

It was with great regret that in my last moments of life I was unable to tell my physicist friend that I was wrong. The perception of time varied with the observer, not specifically relative to the distance one traveled, but rather the achievements and relationships one built while traveling in this life.  That became the true epiphany about this existence. He should work on that. Perhaps he would achieve tenure with such a profound concept. Maybe even a Nobel.

The End