Close your mouth
Once she was seated behind the wheel, then I next to her, we took off. Out of the residential area, onto the freeway again. This time, a separate freeway and we exited by a mall. Once parked in the crowded lot, we walked hand in hand to the mall itself. At one of the entrances was a chain place named for yesterday. Thank Goodness it was there. But any food offering would be welcome. Famished, I held the door open for her and we entered. Late afternoon and the place was packed, loud and noisy, trendy young people sat about the place wanting to be seen. And to see. Lust, was the common denominator at places like this. And when Katy stood at the sign waiting to be seated, heads turned, lust increased. In both the male and female residents.
As a pretty young hostess grabbed menus and led us to a table back near the restrooms, I was aware of the change in the psyche of those we passed. Katy was beautiful, I couldn’t help but notice that she was totally unaware of the crowd, their sudden silence, their stares at her as we passed. And envy, lots of envy. That of course, directed at me. No bra, her breasts were full, upright in her youth, and visible under the pale yellow blouse. She received all the attention.
Sitting now with her back to the crowd, I was the one that got to witness the continued attention of the patrons. The murmured expressions of appreciation between luncheon companions of both sexes. “You create quite a vision with that blouse. Every head in here watched you as you walked over here.”
Her jaw dropped, she was truly puzzled by the comment. Turning to look behind her, she watched as men and women all stopped staring and turned their attention away from her. Back to their own supposedly private experiences here in this very public place. “Why were they staring at me?” She asked, perplexed.
We were so much alike. I had no idea that what I did was worthy of study. Of interest by others. Just as she was unaware that her physical appearance was so striking. A woman like that was rare, and although I’ve known a few, they just aren’t aware that they are gifted as well. Having been with women that were equally as beautiful, most demanded that all attention be focused on them. Their knowledge of that beauty they hold defines them. Their place in society determined by their value of themselves. Most aren’t that great in bed, they want what I do, and offer little in return.
Katy was different. She returned all she was capable of, and wanted to learn more. To please me, to enjoy my pleasure, as I did with her. As with every woman I have ever been with. Looking directly into her eyes, I told her the truth. “Katy, they don’t see you. They see the image of a beautiful woman. And little else. An object of desirable looks, but not the whole you. I see you. I see all of you."
“Oh my God. Are you kidding? I’m not that attractive. Why would they stare at me?”
This surprised me, most women thought of themselves as more than they were. At least there was some knowledge of the ideals of beauty as expressed in our culture. She apparently was unaware. “Katy, haven’t you been with other men? Didn’t they tell you how attractive you are?”
A great sadness came over her. Pouting a bit, her lips pursed together in a frown that wiggled from side to side. “Dennis, men have always told me I’m pretty. I, it’s just that, I, I’m not sure. I’ve never told anyone this Denny, but my father used to abuse me. All my life he told me I was ugly. That the only way I could get a man was to be sexually willing. I believed him. When I was twelve, he started to have sex with me. He was happy with the blowjobs, and fucking. It was never like with you. Oh Denny, you’ve taught me so much about giving pleasure than I thought possible.”
True happiness now. “I’m glad. I think you’re beautiful. It’s more than an outside beauty though. There’s so much to you. The toll painting thing amazed me. What happened to your father?”
“Oh, jail. When I was fifteen I told mom and Happy what was going on. He’s in jail now. In isolation. They don’t like child sex offenders in jail. I’ve never gone to visit him. He writes to mom and me all the time. I throw the letters out. I don’t want to know anything about him.”
“Probably a good idea. Men like that are into control. He probably wasn’t all that nice to your mother either.”
“No, he wasn’t. He beat her up a few times. Yeah, I guess you’re right. Control.”
Then a waitress appeared. We ordered ice teas, appetizers and burgers. Leaving us alone again, that quizzical look returned. “Denny, I noticed you don’t drink soda. I know you don’t drink alcohol anymore, but no soda?”
That super taster thing, it’s hard to explain. “Katy, when all the manufacturers switched from sugar to the new cheaper high fructose corn syrup stuff, the taste changed. And I don’t like the flavor anymore. It’s just harsh to me. Can’t do it.”
Thinking about it a minute, she agreed with me. “Yeah, now that I think about it, it does taste different nowadays. I just thought that as I got older, my tastes changed. My taste in men has changed. You should have seen the one guy I was seeing a while back. He had a Mohawk. Happy and mom both thought I was nuts.”
“Happy told me about him. A skateboarder right?”
“Yeah, what a loser. And I don’t know, maybe the appeal was more of a need to just be different. He sure was full of himself. Everything was about him.”
“How long did you see him?”
“Wow, you don’t want to know if he was good in bed or not. Cool.”
That interested me little. “Why would I care? You’re experiencing time with me, that’s the only thing that concerns me. Other than remarks from your grandfather. He was displeased.”
Thinking about that a moment, she accepted the comment at face value. “Yeah, maybe a bit of rebellion. Happy, well, he was not happy. Displeased was a good description. I think he expects more from me. He wants me to go back to school. Did he tell you that?”
“No. This morning was really the first time we talked about you. Even though he’s only known me a few days, he believed I was a better match for you than those in your past. I’m not sure what to think about that though.”
Now she was excited. “Oh God Denny, that’s wonderful. I can’t believe how I feel about you. Already. You’re, you’re so incredible. So quiet. So understanding. Being with you is unlike with any other man ever. You understand me. Wow!”
“So what about school. Did you go before? And what did you study?”
Iced teas arrived just then. There was hatred, jealousy from our waitress. I’m sure it happened all the time for Katy. She was just unaware of how the rest of the world worked. How those that were more athletic, more talented, richer, and better looking caused those feelings toward the lucky and gifted. And me. I felt them all the time. I, like her, didn’t want to believe how good looking I was. It just was. A chance meeting of sperm and egg. It determined my existence.
Sipping her tea, she reached for the sweetener packets on the table. Then dumped in three sugars. How she maintained her trim thin body was a mystery.
Alone again, I continued. “What were you studying?”
Glancing at me, her attention had been elsewhere. The focus now, love, again. “Pre med. Happy always thought I should follow him and his studies. Which I admit, what you all do, what you’re capable of, is pretty fascinating. All the guys, they’re so interesting. What you do. It’s so cool. And you. God, what you do. Wow. It’s pretty cool.”
‘Cool’ A one word description of my existence. I could do worse. Previously it had been ‘Freak’ ‘Weirdo” and ‘Nutcase’ All from women with which I was involved. None recognized that which I did for them. Not just great sex. But an insight into their personal existence. Instead, each focused on my inability to interact with the general population. With people. Even now, one on one with a woman that adored me, I was outside my comfort zone of non-existence. I was used to being outside, of life. Of the world around me. Even from her. There were things I could do for her, to her, but although I enjoyed being with her, being here in a public place, was outside my experience. I liked it. I liked being with her. It’s just I hated being here with other humans.
A response was needed. I could only think of one. “Thank you.”
“Dennis, you’re so cool. God I love being with you. Do you mind if I call you Denny?”
“No, not at all.”
Again, that word. It expressed so much, Yet was so indefinable.
Staring at me, with that wondrous lust love infatuation need coming from her, we were silent. And then appetizers were brought to our table. Not our waitress, but a young man, probably a kitchen helper. As he sat the plate on the table in front of us, his breath caught as he placed the first before us. “Potato ski…” and he couldn’t finish his recitation. Katy’s nipples were once again erect, her desire paramount in her thoughts of me, our night and morning. Our night to be as well. She had perfect breasts. It was understandable. The young man could barely function. Placing the second dish on the table, halfway off, nearly tipping onto the floor, his rote training took over, “Artichoke dip.” Came from him, slowly, deliberately.
I pushed the dish toward the center of the table, his eyes never once left her breasts. His task done, he hovered, reluctant to leave. “Do you need anything, napkins. Anything?” He asked, wanting desperately to stay.
“I think we’re fine, thank you.” I said to him. And he noticed me for the first time. Reluctantly he nodded, a closer glance of paradise in a pale yellow blouse. Then he backed away. As he left, the emotional aura surrounding us returned to a manageable level. The background emotions were still there. Fear, lust, love, anger, hatred. Desire. The normalcy of humanity. Katy’s back was toward the crowd. What had entranced the hordes as she walked through the dining area, was now out of their sight. Personal conflicts for each individual reality within the crowds once again returned. For a busy restaurant, it was manageable to me.
“God but I love potato skins.” And back to my reality of this here and now.
“I’m glad. This place then was a good choice.” I told her. It was obvious that she was unaware of the young man’s reaction to her.
“Yeah, I love this place. The burgers are great too.” And she continued to munch away at the skin in her hand, then devoured another.
With less abandon, I ate some of the artichoke dip. It was a premade prefrozen product, and was barely passable. Katy seemed oblivious to my selection and finished off the eight skins. “Wow. I didn’t realize how hungry I was. You really take it out of me.” And she smiled at me, lust now returning.
One of the patrons walked past us going toward the men’s room. As he passed, I could see Katy’s eyes get big. Fear overcame her at the sight of the man. Something was up. “What’s wrong?”
Startled, she gave me a quizzical look. Then, realization that I could know. “Yeah, I guess you can tell stuff like that. That guy that just went into the bathroom is someone I really don’t want to see.”
“Why? What happened?”
“Oh Denny, it was stupid. He was married. His wife walked in on us. A couple months later I found out that she divorced him. She was the one that had family money and he blamed me for the divorce. He turned out to be a really mean guy. I had to call the cops on him a couple times. Hanging around my house, calling me, he threatened to kill me Denny.”
“Did you see his face? Are you sure he’s the guy?”
She was completely fearful now, almost to tears. “I know it’s him. I know it’s him. Denny I’m scared.”
Some of the people in surrounding tables began to turn and look over at us.
“Calm down Katy. We’re in a public place, nothing’s going to happen here. Just relax, be nice to him if he says anything. It’s going to be fine.” I tried to reassure her. It wasn’t working. Fear still came from her. Intense fear.
With her eyes wide with fear, I felt the man come up behind me. Anger. Hate. Perhaps I was wrong.
Through clenched teeth, he quietly muttered at her. “You, bitch. Funny meeting you here.”
Standing now, I towered over him by at least eight inches. Turning around to face him, he looked up at me, a bit of intimidation overcame him. Not enough. That hatred now directed at me. I smiled at him, extending my hand in that universally accepted gesture, the offered handshake. “Hi, I’m Dennis, and you are?”
Startled, societal conventions took over and he shook my hand. It was a trick, I could tell he was going to try something. Hit me, bend my hand, something, I felt that he knew he had the upper hand and the element of surprise. There was that belief that he could now hurt me.
He was wrong. Once I touched him, I took over his thoughts. Gently, calmly, I spoke to him. “I think you need to tell Katy here just how much you regret causing her problems before.”
Stunned, his face softened, he smiled. “Katy, I want you to know how sorry I am for being a pain to you before.”
“And tell her she looks very beautiful today.” I needed to reassure Katy.
“Yes, Katy, you look incredible today.”
“And tell her you’re not ever going to bother her, ever again.” This guy was actually easy.
“Katy, I want you to know that I won’t ever bother you again.”
“Thank you, and on your way out, you should probably pay for our lunch as well. Just to show her how sorry you really are.” I just wanted to throw that one in for fun.
As he took his hand back from me, he began to walk away, stares from the other diners followed him. Sitting back down in my chair, Katy’s jaw was open about as far as it would go. That sense of awe made me smile.
“Close your mouth Katy, you’re getting me excited.”